It’s Time to Call the Shots and Choose What Works for You

Thought For The Week

Previously we’ve covered two key components of intrinsic motivation: mastery — that sense of satisfaction that comes from getting better at something over time — and purpose — the deeper “why” that gives your effort meaning. This week I want to talk about the essential but often overlooked third piece of the puzzle: autonomy. Put simply, autonomy is about having a sense of choice. It’s the difference between doing something because you should and doing it because it genuinely feels right for you. Motivation research shows that when we feel in control of our decisions, we’re far more likely to stay engaged and consistent over time. See, it’s not about being perfect or strictly adhering to rules; it’s about feeling like you’re the one calling the shots.

Exercise Tip

In a world full of fitness trends, influencer workouts, and well-meaning advice from friends and family, it can be surprisingly hard to stop and consider what actually works for me? Autonomy in exercise means allowing yourself to answer that question honestly and to choose a type of exercise that aligns with your values, supports your goals, fits into your lifestyle, and maybe even brings you some joy along the way. That might look completely different from what’s trending online or what the people around you are doing — and that’s kind of the point. When you’re constantly measuring yourself against someone else, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly feels right and sustainable for you. Choosing your own path, even if it goes against the grain, is a powerful way to build a relationship with movement and exercise that lasts.

Try this: Ask yourself, if no one else could see what you were doing, — no accountability, no apps or trackers, no social media, no comparisons — what kind of movement would you choose, just for you?

Nutrition Tip

Autonomy applies to how we eat, too — and yet, it’s often in the realm of nutrition that autonomy is most easily lost. Diet plans, calorie targets, meal tracking apps — these tools promise structure and control, but in truth they distract us from our own internal signals: hunger, fullness, enjoyment, satisfaction. Over time, it can become easy to confuse following a set of external rules with making empowered choices. But if you’ve ever felt anxious about eating without tracking, or you’ve been unsure how to create a meal without a set of “good” or “permissible” foods, it might be a sign that you’re no longer making your own informed choices. Reclaiming this doesn’t mean throwing out structure altogether — it means learning to make decisions based on what supports your body, your goals, and your lifestyle. It might look a little less than perfect on paper, but I can promise you it will be a whole lot more sustainable in real life.

Try this: Write down three food ‘rules’ you’ve picked up over the years (things like no carbs after 6pm, don’t eat unless you’re hungry, or always track everything). Then ask yourself honestly: Are these rules helping me feel more in control, or more restricted? The goal isn’t to throw everything out, but to start noticing where your choices are being shaped by trust in your body and where they’re being driven by fear or habit.

Links & Resources

Article: This article from Positive Psychology explores Self Determination Theory and explains how fostering an environment that supports autonomy (as well as mastery and purpose) can enhance intrinsic motivation and lead to improved performance and wellbeing.

Book: Drive, by Daniel Pink gives an engaging and easy to read overview of the psychology of intrinsic motivation, including the role of autonomy.

TED Talk: In this short video, neuroscientist Sandra Aamodt shares how dieting can backfire, and what happens when we tune into our bodies instead.

Inspirational Quote

“Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose—and commit myself to—what is best for me.”

Paulo Coelho