From Reflex to Reflection: Working With Emotional Triggers

Thought For The Week

Have you ever found yourself reaching for something — food, your phone, a glass of wine — without really giving it much thought? These quick reactions are often emotional reflexes: automatic habits we’ve built to manage discomfort, boredom, stress, or uncertainty. In psychology, this is known as emotional avoidance — the tendency to distract, soothe, or numb ourselves instead of sitting with difficult emotions. And it’s pretty normal. The brain is wired to seek comfort and predictability. When we repeat a behaviour (like snacking under stress or scrolling through our phones when we feel overwhelmed), the brain says: This helps me feel better. Do it again next time. Over time, this becomes a conditioned response. We feel a flicker of discomfort and reflexively reach for whatever has helped soothe it in the past, often without even realising it. But these quick fixes can become limitations. They keep us from recognising that something is off, from understanding what we truly need, and from building more effective ways of coping. The good news? Once we start noticing the reflex, we can begin to change the response.

Exercise Tip

These emotional reflexes don’t just shape what we reach for, they can also influence how we move, or whether we move at all. Sometimes, exercise can become another form of avoidance. Pushing through a high-intensity workout or going for a long run might feel like a release, but it can also be a way to outrun stress, anxiety, or difficult feelings. On the flip side, emotional discomfort can lead us to shut down altogether — skipping workouts not because rest is genuinely needed, but because guilt, self-doubt, or shame have crept in. It’s easy to assume these decisions are purely physical — “I just didn’t have the energy,” or “I needed to blow off steam.” But often, there’s more going on beneath the surface. The desire to move (or not move) is frequently shaped by how we feel, not just how we are. The goal isn’t to judge these patterns, it’s to notice them, to pause, and ask: Is this choice coming from care, or from avoidance? Am I moving to support myself, or to escape something? Am I skipping movement because I truly need rest — or because I’m stuck in an idea about the kind of person I should be? Bringing curiosity to these moments gives you the chance to respond more intentionally and move in ways that genuinely meet your needs, instead of reacting out of habit.

Try this: You might have planned a workout, but is that still what you need today — physically and emotionally? Or maybe you don’t have anything scheduled, but your body and mind could really benefit from some movement. Either way, tuning in to what you truly need can help you exercise with more intention and care.

Nutrition Tip

Food is one of the most common — and socially accepted — ways we respond to emotional discomfort. And that makes sense. Eating is comforting. It’s familiar, it’s sensory, and it offers fast relief. Over time, it can become a go-to way to manage stress, boredom, or sadness. But when eating becomes an automatic response to emotional discomfort — rather than a response to physical hunger — it can disconnect us from what our body actually needs. We might find ourselves grazing without awareness, constantly snacking, or craving specific foods not for their nutrition, but for how they make us feel in the moment. These patterns are learned, and often unconscious — but they’re not fixed. With practice, you can start to recognise the difference between physical hunger and emotional urges. Just like with movement, the aim isn’t restriction or control — it’s awareness. It’s learning to listen more closely to your body, and to respond with kindness rather than habit.

Try this: If you're reaching for food, try to identify what you're feeling first. Is it stress, restlessness, loneliness, overwhelm, emptiness, boredom, frustration? Often, just the simple act of naming an emotion can reduce the urge to react automatically.

Links & Resources

Article: This article from Psychology Today explores the factors that lead to emotional eating patterns. It explains how lasting shifts can happen when emotional awareness is combined with practical strategies like building new habits and creating supportive environments.

Article: This resource from Positive Psychology offers practical, evidence-based worksheets, exercises, and self-assessments for developing emotion regulation skills.

Resource: Struggling to name those emotions? Download the Feelings Wheel to help you pinpoint exactly what you’re feeling.

Inspirational Quote

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response.”

Viktor E. Frankl