I’m Having the Thought That… (And It Doesn’t Control Me)

Thought For The Week

A few weeks ago, I was standing in front of the mirrors at the gym.

Around me were men at least three times my size, lifting weights heavier than my entire body. And the thought popped into my head: “God, I’m so small.”

Almost instantly, that thought turned into a feeling. I felt out of place. Like I didn’t belong there. For a moment, I was convinced they were watching — waiting to see something totally unremarkable.

Then I picked up a dumbbell to start my workout, and — almost immediately — I noticed what was happening.

It wasn’t the gym, or the people around me, or my body.

It was a thought.

A familiar one. And as soon as I could name it, it lost its grip, and I could get on with my session.

Moments like this happen to all of us, and not just in the gym. Thoughts like “I’m terrible at sticking to this,” “I’ve blown it now,” or “There’s no point today” often show up sounding like facts, but they’re really just reactions.

One helpful shift is remembering that a thought is something you have, not something you are.

When you can recognise and name a thought as a thought, it creates space. You don’t need to get rid of it or argue with it. Simply recognising it for what it is can reduce overwhelm and give you back a sense of choice in how you respond.

Exercise Tip

Unhelpful thoughts can show up in training more often than we might realise.

A set that feels heavier than usual can trigger “I’m weak.” You don’t feel as on it today and “I’m getting worse” follows close behind. Or you walk into a busy gym and think “Everyone else seems to know exactly what they’re doing.”

When these thoughts go unnamed, they can quickly turn into disappointment, frustration, or even cutting a session short.

But when you can pause and recognise them — “I’m having the thought that I’m weak today” — it changes the moment.

You’re no longer reacting to the thought as if it’s a fact.

Instead, you can respond: adjust the weight, take a few extra breaths, focus on the next rep, then keep moving forward.

Progress in training isn’t about never having these thoughts — it’s about noticing them without letting them decide what you do next.

Try this:

Pay attention to physical sensations: Your workout is the perfect place to practice this. Focus on how your body feels — your muscles, your breath, your posture — and you’ll stay present, move with better form, and give unhelpful thoughts less control over your session.

Nutrition Tip

The same thing often shows up around food.

You eat something you hadn’t planned and the thought “I’ve ruined it” appears, or you feel hungry between meals and “I shouldn’t be eating now” pops up.

When these thoughts go unnamed, they can quickly snowball into guilt, restriction, or binge eating.

One small slip can set off a chain of thoughts and emotions that culminates in “I’ll just make up for it tomorrow” or “I’ll start again on Monday,” and suddenly the situation feels bigger and heavier than it really is.

But when you can pause and recognise them — “I’m having the thought that I’ve blown it” — it creates space.

You’re no longer treating the thought as a fact that needs fixing, compensating for, or punishing.

Instead, you can respond: eat a balanced meal at the next opportunity, slow down your eating, check in with your hunger cues, or step away for a walk to reset.

Progress with nutrition isn’t about getting every decision “right” — it’s about noticing unhelpful thoughts without letting them control your next steps.

Try this:

Name the thought: When something doesn’t go to plan, try “I’m having the thought that I’ve blown it” instead of “I’ve blown it.” That small shift helps create space, making it easier to choose a calmer, more helpful next step.

Links & Resources

Resource: Struggling to name those emotions? Download the Feelings Wheel to help you pinpoint exactly what you’re feeling.

Article: This resource from Positive Psychology offers practical, evidence-based worksheets, exercises, and self-assessments for developing emotion regulation skills.

Recipe: Try my recipe for roasted butternut squash and kale salad. It’s packed full of vitamins, minerals, slow-release carbs and fibre, keeping you feeling full — and maybe a little bit virtuous — until your next meal.

Inspirational Quote

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Viktor Frankl