The Power of Feeling Seen: Why Validation Matters

Thought For The Week

As humans, we’re wired to seek validation — that sense of being seen, heard, and understood.

Feeling validated activates the same reward centres in the brain as safety and connection, helping us regulate emotions and reduce stress.

In contrast, when we feel dismissed or misunderstood, it can trigger areas of the brain that are associated with physical pain.

Validation, then, isn’t about seeking approval; it’s an innate drive that helps us make sense of our feelings and reminds us we’re not alone in them.

Exercise Tip

So much of the fitness world is built around external measures — competition results, event times, gym leaderboards, or the feedback we get when we share our training sessions online.

These can be motivating, but they can also pull our focus outward, making our sense of achievement dependent on recognition or comparison.

When that happens, it’s easy to lose touch with what exercise is truly about: connection, growth, and self-trust.

Self-validation in movement means turning your attention inward — noticing how your body feels, working with your breath, and appreciating how you’re becoming fitter, stronger, and more confident over time. It’s about recognising your own effort without needing a pat on the back from anyone else.

When we move for ourselves, training stops being a measure against others and becomes an act of self-respect.

Try this:

Progress isn’t always about numbers. It can be improved posture, better sleep, reduced stress, or simply enjoying exercise more. Validate those less visible wins.

… and this:

If leaderboards, tracking apps, or social media posts start to feel discouraging, take a break from them. Your progress isn’t any less real just because it’s not public.

Nutrition Tip

Just like in fitness, it’s easy to get caught up in external rules and expectations — what we “should” eat, how much, when, or what’s considered “healthy” by someone else’s standards.

Diet culture thrives on this kind of external validation, rewarding discipline and restriction while disconnecting us from our own bodies.

But true nourishment comes from self-validation — from listening to hunger cues, honouring satisfaction, and trusting that our body’s signals are worth following.

When we eat in a way that feels supportive rather than punitive, food becomes less about control and more about care. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about understanding ourselves well enough to make choices that feel balanced, satisfying, and sustainable.

Try this:

Validate the small wins. Maybe you packed a nourishing lunch, had breakfast instead of skipping it, or paused before eating out of stress. Recognise those moments — they’re signs your self-trust is growing stronger.

Links & Resources

Resource: An important step in self-validation is understanding your emotions. Use the Feelings Wheel to help pinpoint and name what’s going on.

Journal: Keep a journal and make a habit of writing down your successes and progress to remind yourself of your capabilities. Acknowledge the hard work and effort you put in, regardless of the outcome.

Book: Ever wonder why it’s so easy to be hard on yourself when training or trying to eat well? The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert unpacks how our brains are wired to react quickly to threat. Understanding this — and seeing the science behind it — can feel deeply validating, and help us work with our biology instead of fighting against it.

Inspirational Quote

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.”

Maya Angelou