Why We Stick to What We Know (Even When It’s Not Working)

Thought For The Week

A client said to me this week, “Whenever I try something new, I just can’t seem to stick to it.”

It wasn’t said dramatically. Just as a matter of fact. Like it was a fixed part of who she is.

But this isn’t about character, or willpower, or motivation. It’s about how the brain responds to change.

We often assume that if something is good for us, it should feel natural or easy to do. But the brain doesn’t judge things by whether they’ll benefit us in the long term; it judges whether they’re familiar and predictable.

That’s why starting something new can feel surprisingly hard. Not because you’re lazy or lacking discipline, but because your brain prefers what it already knows.

Familiar habits, even unhelpful ones, feel safer than benefits that haven’t been experienced yet. Known patterns are easier to stick to than uncertain outcomes.

Psychologists call this intolerance of uncertainty. When something feels unclear or unpredictable, the brain can interpret it as a small threat, rather than a neutral challenge.

So instead of jumping in, we hesitate, overthink, and drift back to what we already know.

The good news is that what feels uncertain today can become normal with repetition.

The goal isn’t to force yourself to love the process immediately; it’s simply to stay with it long enough for your brain to stop treating it like unfamiliar territory.

Exercise Tip

I see it all the time when I introduce a new movement. The first set often feels awkward and more difficult than expected. Clients will say, "This feels really hard", or assume they’re just not very good at it.

But by the second or third set, something shifts. The movement starts to feel more natural. More controlled. Less effortful.

It’s not because their strength has suddenly increased in a few minutes. It’s because their brain has started to recognise the pattern. It’s no longer completely unfamiliar.

That’s often the missing piece. We interpret that initial discomfort as a sign that something’s wrong, when really it's just the process of learning something new.

The same thing can happen across an entire training session. Early on, everything feels like effort. You’re thinking more, second-guessing more, noticing every bit of discomfort.

But with repetition, that uncertainty fades. The sessions start to feel more familiar, and with that, more manageable.

So rather than forcing self-discipline or constantly switching to something new, the focus early on should be much simpler: repeat the pattern.

Keep your training structure consistent. Show up on the same days. Do similar movements.

Because familiarity makes everything easier to stick to.

What feels difficult at the start isn’t a lack of ability, it’s a lack of familiarity. And that changes quickly with repetition.

Nutrition Tip

Following diet plans, adhering to rules, and tracking calories are all common ways to make it feel like we’re keeping our nutrition “on track.”

But here’s the thing:

When things are “on,” it can feel relatively easy. Not because it suddenly requires less effort, but because there’s a sense of clarity. Decisions have already been made. Meals have already been planned. Groceries have already been bought. And you know where you stand.

It feels predictable.

But when that structure — or even the idea of it — is no longer there, that clarity disappears. Suddenly there’s more to consider. More decisions to make. More uncertainty. More overwhelm.

And that’s often the point where people disengage. Not because they’ve stopped caring, but because things no longer feel clear.

Rather than continuing in that grey area, it can feel easier to step away and start again later, when things feel more defined.

But that reset is what keeps the whole process feeling so hard. Each time you start again, you’re going back to something that still feels unfamiliar.

What makes nutrition feel easier over time isn’t making perfect choices; it’s familiarity. And that usually comes from keeping things simple.

Having a few go-to meals you repeat. Keeping a degree of structure to your day. Sticking to a few loose principles — more like a framework than a set of rules.

The goal isn’t to be perfectly “on,” but to create an environment that’s predictable enough to build consistency.

Links & Resources

Article: This article on intolerance of uncertainty explains why the brain can treat unclear or unpredictable situations as uncomfortable or even threatening, and how that often leads us to avoid change or return to what feels familiar.

Book: In her book, Uncertain: The wisdom and Wonder of Being Unsure, Maggie Jackson explores why uncertainty isn’t necessarily something to eliminate, but something that can actually improve learning and decision-making.

Coaching: Moving away from “on/off” thinking is exactly what we work on inside RESET. It’s a 6-week online programme designed to help you build simple, repeatable habits that make change feel more familiar, and therefore easier to stick to.

Inspirational Quote

“A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.”

John A. Shedd